Weiss V Real Thirsty Moms
by MahinaFable
Summary: When Jaune is subjected to blatant harassment by the randy mothers of the children he protects, who will come to this knight's rescue? (WhiteKnight)
1. Chapter 1

**Weiss v. Real Thirsty Moms**

**A/N: Content Warning, sexual harassment, low-scale sexual assault**

**[/]**

The upside of having been trained to work in pairs was that Huntsmen and Huntresses learned how to rely on others and work as a team. The downside was that, for the first few years of a newly-licensed Huntsman's career at least, they were vulnerable as they learned to adjust. Marrow, the kind-hearted dog Faunus of the Ace Operatives, had known this lesson well. What had appeared to be a practical joke at the expense of the new Huntsman… Juan, was it? John? Something like that, the point is, it got the lone newbie on the safest gig without bringing up his dead partner at their graduation party. Every once in a while during the two weeks since they had embarked on their first missions as licensed Hunters, one or more of Jaune's friends would swing by to make sure that he was okay, not just physically, but emotionally as well.

Since he had saved her life, after all, no one batted an eye at Weiss when she volunteered for that week's Jaune check-in. Nora had gladly availed of the opportunity to take some downtime with Ren, who seemed to be unusually tense and even snappish. Well, Weiss was sure that whatever they were going through, they'd work it out. In the meantime, she had a dork to check up on.

The scene that greeted her upon catching up with Jaune horrified her to her core.

[/]

The blonde knight had taken to his assignment with good humor, especially when it was pointed out to them that they had been fighting Grimm in Mantle within moments of their arrival. Having a Huntsman on hand to protect the little ones in the worst-case scenario wasn't a bad idea, and if he was honest, Jaune rather enjoyed watching over the adorable little buggers. They reminded him of his nephew, and to some extent, Jaune saw what could have been interpreted as a demeaning joke of an assignment into a penance for his plan in Argus inadvertently endangering his sister's family.

No, the tykes weren't the problem. It was the _moms_. Dear Brothers above and below, the _moms! _A sizable group of women had taken to shadowing him as he escorted the kids around Mantle. At first, he had thought that it was just normal maternal behavior, making sure that the new guy was up to snuff so their children would be safe and all that. Then came the waving. That also didn't strike Jaune as being too terrible; after all, he _was_ the friendly neighborhood Huntsman, and interacting with the civilian population was important for morale. But then came the posing. Hips were jutted out, backs arched, and breasts pushed forward with a lack of subtlety that even _Yang_ would have found off-putting.

They leered at him the way Neptune leered at girls, and Jaune didn't like it, not one bit. It wasn't that Jaune didn't appreciate his newfound appeal to the opposite sex; though they may have been mothers, they were still _young_ mothers, and generally appealing to behold. But Jaune was trying to do his job, a fact made more salient by the fact that said job that the women were trying to distract him from involved protecting their own children! Furthermore, these women didn't know him, or anything about him as a person. When Ruby hugged him, it was because they had a history, and one or the other of them could tell when their fellow leader needed support. When Yang teased him, she knew how far she could take it without pushing the Pyrrha Button, and she never did, not even once. Because she was his friend, and she cared about his feelings.

These women, these thirsty, thirsty moms, didn't care about any of that. They were just after the quick thrill of his body, and it made him feel… gross. They had started to offer gifts to him, casseroles and chocolates at first. He had declined, politely, stating that he was merely doing his job as a Huntsman and needed no further compensation, but the women had been adamant that he accept them...and used the opportunity to slide hungry hands over his biceps or chestplate. One particularly bold woman had pinched his backside.

Jaune hadn't said anything for two reasons. The first was because his mission was to raise civilian morale, and if subjecting himself to discomfort and indignity did that, then that was what he was going to do. At least the women had had the… well, "decency" wasn't quite the right term, but the "practicality" to wait until the kids were at school before descending on him. The second reason Jaune endured the discomfiture was out of a sense of remorse. Having now been on the other side of repeated, unwanted advances, Jaune gained an all new appreciation for how absolutely revulsed and uncomfortable Weiss must have been with him back at Beacon. Honestly, it was a miracle that she could even stand to be in the same room as him after that; he knew he was eagerly looking forward to the time when he never had to see any of these thirsty moms ever again.

To be quite frank, Jaune felt that he deserved to be sexually harassed, to answer for how he had treated Weiss.

Although he was now beginning to reconsider if his penance was becoming a bit disproportionate to his crime, as he again politely refused the bottle of wine one of the moms was trying to push off on him while simultaneously pretending not to notice the hand that one of the bolder women had slipped into one of his front pockets. He visibly cringed as the hand brushed against Jaune Jr. and gave it a pat.

"_What in the world is going on here?!"_

Weiss's voice had long been lauded for its sonorous qualities, but to Jaune, it had never sounded more beautiful than when it had come to his rescue, "outraged harpy" shrill or no. All eyes turned towards the glamorous young Huntress, whose high-heeled boots clacked against the concrete as she strode, with furious purpose, to the corner where the gaggle of women had accosted Jaune.

She crossed her arms under her bust and glared icily. "What do you think you're doing?!" she demanded. Jaune didn't care if he had to sit through a Category 5 Weiss-storm if it meant getting out of here. "Don't you see how distressed he is?" Weiss continued.

Wait, what?

Her eyes grew flinty hard as she caught sight of the hand still in Jaune's pocket. "You, remove that hand, _or I will,_" the Huntress snapped. Jaune cringed again as the hand withdrew, leaving something behind in his pocket. The hidden gifts were always just the worst.

"What's it to you?" One of the moms challenged. "You his little girlfriend or something?"

"No," Weiss answered, her tone colder than the Atlesian winter night.

"So why should you care? We're just having a little fun with the boy."

"Jaune." The name wasn't an inquiry, just a statement.

"What?" The woman who had challenged Weiss asked, her tone confused.

"His name is Jaune. And he does _not _appear to be having a good time."

"Aw, don't be like that," another woman spoke up. "He's just so sweet and _innocent!"_ "I'll be his mommy!" one lewdly volunteered from the small pack. Jaune tried to keep his nausea under control from that last comment.

Once, when he had just started out at Beacon, Jaune had refused help from his partner. He'd been operating under the idea that being a man, especially a Huntsman, meant never needing to ask for help. He'd been stupid. "Weiss?" he asked. "Can we go now?"

Her gaze softened, and she extended a gloved hand for him to take. "Of course. Let's get you home, Jaune." He took her hand and she practically pulled him from the grasp of the awful women that had been molesting him. It may have cut a ridiculous figure, a barely five-foot tall in heels woman pulling an armored man over six feet tall behind her, as if to shield him from danger, but Weiss didn't care. Her blood was up.

"You should all be _ashamed_ of yourselves," she hissed. The women, seeing that their fun for the day was over, began to disperse. The muttered, but Weiss paid them no further heed as she carefully took Jaune by the hand.

[/]

They walked together in silence, neither one knowing how to even begin to discuss what had just happened. Jaune paused as they passed a public garbage can. "Hold on a second," he said, as he reached into his pocket. He grimaced as he fished a pair of lacy women's underwear from his pocket. _Damp_ women's underwear.

Weiss's eyes were as wide as saucers as she saw the little souvenir that his admirer had left him. Soon enough, however, her gaze narrowed into dangerous glacial slits as her shock gave way to unyielding outrage. "I'm going to _murder_ those _filthy_ trollops!"

Jaune sighed as he threw the underwear into the trash. "Weiss, no."

"I fail to see why not."

"Well, aside from the fact that a Huntress working for Ironwood can't be seen murdering civilians - especially not one named Schnee -"

"Damn it!" Weiss interjected.

"The main point is that I just have to put up with this," Jaune finished. He gestured for Weiss to resume walking with him as he explained. "The objective is to maintain, or even raise, civilian morale. The women that are…. _entertained_ by my being there are putting thought into something other than the Grimm."

"Jaune, that's dumb," Weiss told him, blunter than Nora's hammer. "Doing your part doesn't mean putting up with being… mistreated." She saw he was beginning to object, so she cut him off. "Or would you stand by and let men grope me, even if I was obviously distressed?"

"Well, you don't deserve it."

"What, so you think you do?"

Jaune fell silent as they walked. "I never did apologize to you, you know."

"For what?"

"For how I behaved when we started at Beacon. For not getting the hint. If what I put you through back then was even a third of what I felt just now… I guess part of me saw it as paying the price."

Weiss stared up at him for a moment, her ice blue eyes watering, as if she were about to cry. She looked around briefly, seeing that they were not far from an outdoor cafe. "Stay here," she ordered him, trotting off in its direction. A moment later, she returned with a chair in tow. Weiss set it down in front of him and then climbed on top of it so that she could look him at eye level.

"Don't you _ever_ say that you deserve to be harassed and abused, _especially_ not because of me!" she began telling him off, a stern finger pointed at his face. It was all Jaune could do not to burst out laughing at the sight of her balanced on the chair, his mouth wrenched slightly to keep from having a wide smile spread across his face. "_You _were just a dumb teenage boy who didn't know how to talk to girls, and _I _was just a mean little girl who didn't think anyone would be interested in anything other than my name. Those… _women_ have no such excuse!"

As Weiss continued to explain, in the angriest, prissiest, _Weissiest_ possible manner how those women were awful and how he was the dunciest of all possible dunces for not speaking up to stop their mistreatment, Jaune lost the struggle to keep from smiling at her. She explained all the reasons why he was a good person and a good friend who didn't deserve abuse while couching it in terms of him being too dense to see them.

"...in conclusion, that is a comprehensive list of reasons why I… we all love you, idiot." Weiss concluded, just barely catching herself in time. She blinked as she looked around, realizing for the first time that they had attracted an audience, ranging from retired old-timers with infuriatingly knowing grins to smirking teenagers with their Scrolls.

Jaune just grinned at her as she flushed brightly, from the base of her neck to the tips of her ears. "Would you like some help to get down?" he offered gallantly. She looked over to see that there was not so much distance between their current location to the Bullhead that would return them to Atlas.

"If we make a break for it, we can get away clean," she said. "On three. One, two, three!" On three, Weiss took him by surprise by essentially hopping into his arms. He carried her bridal style as they booked it towards the Bullhead, leaving an overturned chair and a cheering crowd behind them.

[/]

Jaune was in the shower when Weiss called a group meeting. They all met in Team RWBY's dorm, sans Jaune and Oscar, the latter of whom was meeting with Ironwood. Weiss brought their attention to the fact that, during Jaune's seemingly-innocuous mission, he had been mistreated by the women whose children he watched… and then demanded to know who else knew of it.

Ruby had been entirely oblivious to it, thinking that the gifts and touching were due to him being a super-awesome Huntsman. In retrospect, Weiss realized that she shouldn't have expected her to notice anything like that; between her general naivety and the fact that Weiss was pretty sure that Ruby was asexual, catching on to the fact that the interactions were far from innocent and defintely unwanted on Jaune's end would have been a bit beyond her.

It was the rest of the reactions that took her by surprise.

"I just figured that it was the new haircut, and that Jaune would be happy to finally get some women's attention," Nora had explained.

"I had more important things to worry about than babysitting the babysitter," Ren said, his tone unusually terse.

Weiss scowled at them both. "So that's two in the 'we just didn't care' faction. Some teammates _you _are," she spat.

Nora was on her feet in a flash. "Who do you think you are to -"

"I'm the one who pulled Jaune away from a group of women that were openly groping him," Weiss interrupted.

"To be fair," Yang pointed out, quietly interposing herself between Weiss and the fuming Nora, "most guys would have been thrilled to be in Jaune's position. I know Sun and Neptune used to brag about how many fangirls they could pull."

"Well, Jaune isn't Sun or Neptune, thank the gods."

"Still, how are you _this_ worked up about it?"

"Imagine if a group of men were leering at Ruby, making inappropriate remarks at her, _sexualizing_ her youth and innocence, and even touching her. We all know it would have ended in violence."

"Okay, sure, but still, I'm a lot closer to Ruby than you are to Jaune." Yang peered at Weiss. "Are you sure you're not letting your feelings for Jaune make this a bigger thing? Jealousy isn't a good look."

Weiss felt a flash of irritation. "Even if I _didn't_ have feelings for him, that wouldn't make it right!"

"Ah-ha!" Yang's lilac eyes lit with triumphant glee. "So you _do_ have feelings for him!"

Weiss stamped her foot. "My feelings aren't important!"

"I disagree." All eyes turned towards the door, where Jaune stood, shirtless and with a towel around his neck. Water beaded on the corded muscles of his neck and chest. Weiss swallowed hard as his physique did interesting things when he reached up to take his towel off. Yang was smirking like Dustmas had come early, Blake's cat ears were twitching wildly as her pervert sense was tingling, Nora drank in the sight, and Ren just groaned in annoyance.

"What?" Ruby asked, looking around the room. "It's just Jaune."

"I guess this is where the party is," Jaune said. He smiled down at Weiss. "I don't know what everyone's talking about Weiss, but if _my_ feelings matter, then yours must matter twice as much. I just wanted to thank you for coming to the rescue today. I felt so relieved when you got me out of there."

"You'll always be safe with me," Weiss blurted out, to her abject horror.

He just smiled at her, and Weiss felt her knees wobble, just a little. "I know it," he said. With that, Jaune turned to leave, and Weiss was suddenly unable to pull her eyes from the glistening musculature of his shoulders and back. Ren left with him, citing a desire to discuss training plans with him. Nora took her leave as well, but not without sending one last glare towards the Ice Queen's general direction. The spell was broken as Team RWBY's door slid shut.

Weiss shook her head as if to clear it, then groaned as she saw the predatory look on Yang's face. "Don't even-"

"You'll always be safe with me, _Jaune_," Yang mocked, her voice in a high falsetto. "Just stay here with me, in my bed, and I'll keep you and your muscles safe all night long!"

"I have a sword," Weiss muttered darkly.

"Well, I for one think it's romantic," Blake said, trying to show Weiss some support. "Wouldn't you think it would be romantic if two people with such a troubled history were able to come together after all of it, Yang?"

That put Yang on the defensive. "Uh, y-yeah," the blonde bomber stammered out. "I always shipped them together, you know."

"Uh-huh," Weiss said, clearly skeptical.

"I did! Even told him that you'd reciprocate someday. And I was right!"

Weiss merely rolled her eyes. No matter what happened next… if anything _did_ happen between her and Jaune… at least she'd done right by a friend today.

**[/]**

**Endnotes: This originally** **started as a crackfic that was going to have Weiss go super-tsundere out of jealousy that the Real Thirsty Moms were thirsting after Jaune.** **But then I took the scene and ramped it up to eleven, way beyond what we actually saw go down in the show, because I literally can't stop myself from doing so.**

**The scene as written in canon was** **meant to be comic relief, but Jaune's clear discomfort kinda killed it. Just because the character being sexually harassed is a man, that doesn't make it okay. Imagine Pyrrha in that situation, with men wolf-whistling at her while she's just trying to do her job. It wouldn't be funny, it would be icky and gross. Men are generally expected to either want it at all times, or else be stoic enough to remain silent about it. Which is bullshit.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I'm pleasantly surprised to see so many agree with me on the topic of the harassment and abuse of men.**

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"Hey Weiss, what are you still doing in bed? I thought you wanted to come with me today?"

Jaune, fully armed and armored as he was, yelped and ducked out of the doorway to Team RWBY's room as a volley of thrown pillows and harsh language from four young women answered his early morning greeting. Weiss Schnee, beautiful glamorous Huntress, diva, and paragon of comportment, loudly smacked her lips as she sat upright and turned her bleary eyes to focus on the interloper. Her loose hair was askew and a small drop of drool glistened on the corner of her mouth.

"Jaune? Why izzit… you're too _early!_"

He peeked his head around the doorframe, and when he was met with no incoming fire, shamefacedly slunk back into the room. "Yeah, I forgot to mention," he said apologetically, scratching the back of his head. "It's a little more involved than it looked at first. I'm sorry. If you want, I can go alone -"

"No!" interrupted Weiss. She stood quickly. The _last_ thing she wanted was to leave Jaune alone to face down those filthy harlots, not without her making one more appearance to lay down the law. "I can be ready quickly. Five minutes? Ugh, no time for the braid…"

"Why don't you just leave it down?" Jaune offered. "It looks pretty that way. Oh, you've, uh, you've got something on your face there." He reached out and brushed his thumb on the corner of her mouth, wiping off the spot of spittle there. Weiss colored at the surprisingly tender gesture, but she then paled as she realized the state in which he was seeing her.

"Out!" she ordered, bodily hustling the young man out the door. She grumbled as she practically threw on her Huntress outfit, silently cursing herself for indulging in so many belts. She ran a comb through her long, silky white hair, getting it into something approaching order while simultaneously brushing her teeth.

"Wow, you're really going?" Yang asked from her own bunk. "You must really have the hots for - hey!" Yang squawked as, without looking away from the mirror where she applied a quick set of emergency makeup, Weiss summoned her miniature Arma Gigas to smack Yang upside the head with the flat of its sword. "What the hell!" the blonde griped as the little knight kept bopping her on the head.

While the troublemaker was preoccupied, Weiss made her escape, slipping Myrtenaster into her belt before stepping into the hallway. "Right," she told Jaune. "We should go quickly."

"Yeah, we don't want to be late."

"That too."

Weiss picked up the pace as a cry of "SCHNEE!" echoed through the hall.

"What was that?" Jaune asked, his hand falling to his sword.

"Don't worry about it."

As they passed the small common area, Jaune picked up a pair of paper cups, each filled with the wondrous, magical decoction known as coffee. He handed one to her, which she just barely managed to avoid greedily snatching out of his hand. Weiss moaned in bliss as, with the first steaming sip of the bean elixer, her weariness faded away and the world became a much more tolerable place.

Beside her, Jaune chuckled. "You know, Ruby was right. I've never seen anyone _appreciate_ coffee quite the way you do."

"Sweet beany goodness…" Weiss practically whimpered with pleasure. "Is that how you knew how I take my coffee?"

"Yup," he nodded. "She used to talk about you, about all of you, back when we were hiking across Anima. Your love of coffee is the stuff of legend now."

Weiss nodded her approval. "When I am queen of all of Remnant, Ruby Rose will be spared," the former heiress declared, her tone lofty. Jaune chuckled again as they walked amiably towards the Bullhead. "So," she began as they boarded the craft, "do you want to tell me what this is all about?"

"Hmm?" Jaune looked over at her as he took a seat. "We're just off to pick up some kids."

[/]

The transport dropped them off a few blocks away from a sector of Mantle that Weiss had recognized as one of the roughest parts of the city. More than once, she had overhead her father joking to his friends that the place should be razed to the ground. The pilot that had set them down had just shook his head ruefully at them before taking off with a haste that was _just_ on the right side of seemly.

"Jaune?" Weiss asked, suddenly quite nervous. "Why would we come _here_ to pick up kids?"

For his part, Jaune looked entirely unphased, walking through the slums with the same jaunty ease as he had back in the halls of the Atlas Academy. "Because this is where they live," he answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

The residents of the first… well, "house" was a strong term for a structure valiantly holding together through nails, cords, and hope. "Dwelling," the residents of the first dwelling on their route were waiting for them outside. A family of Faunus stood outside the front door. The father had a set of magnificent deer antlers, while the mother had a pair of floppy dog ears on her head. Jaune held a hand up for her to wait while he moved closer to speak to the parents. After a brief conversation, he gestured for her to join him, and a small boy with green eyes, black hair, and stubby little antler growths on his head emerged from behind his mother's skirts.

As she grew closer, the little boy gave a cry of alarm and buried his face in his mother's skirt.

Weiss's heart broke.

Had it really come to this? Small children hid in terror at the very sight of Schnee features? No matter what came next during their mission in Atlas, Weiss would _never_ forgive her father.

"Hey."

She tore her eyes from the child to find Jaune standing there in front of her, his hand on her shoulder. "I know it's hard. But there's only one way to begin fixing the damage."

She took a deep breath and dabbed the tears from her eyes. Slowly, she approached the family, and at the father's solemn nod, she squatted down to the child's level. "H-hey there," she said, her voice catching. "My name is Weiss, and I'm a friend of Mister Jaune's."

Slowly, the boy peered out at her. "I ate my veggies," he finally declared. Weiss heard the father give an embarrassed cough.

"Well, that's very good to eat your veggies. Mister Jaune needs to eat more veggies just like you," she said playfully.

"Dad said that if I don't eat my veggies, the Schnee is going to take me away."

If it wasn't so agonizing, Weiss would have found that to be funny as hell. Maybe she could threaten Ruby with that sometime. "Well," she began slowly, "I don't know about all that. I'm here to take you to school, just like Mister Jaune. Here, do you see this?" She pulled out her Scroll and displayed her newly-acquired Huntress license. The boy peered at the glowing picture. "This means that I'm a Huntress. It's my job to _protect_ all the little boys and girls so they can be happy and grow up strong."

He looked at the license and then back up at Weiss. "Well… you don't _look_ evil…"

"That's because she had her morning coffee," Jaune added helpfully. Weiss restrained the urge to smack him as a critical component of Operation: Stop Scaring Small Children.

"Oh," the boy said with dawning comprehension. "Coffee turns the Schnee monster into a, into a _person_."

"Yup!" Jaune cheerily agreed. Weiss made a mental note to exact swift and horrific retribution on him at the earliest convenience.

"A lot of grown-ups are monsters before coffee," the mother added, her own amusement evident. "Why don't you tell her your name, sweetie?"

"My name is Corran," he said, finally pulling away from his mother. "Corran Horn. I'm going to be a pilot when I grow up!"

"Hey!" Jaune protested. "What happened to wanting to be a Huntsman?"

"That was yesterday," Corran said with a dismissive little wave. Weiss giggled at the deflated expression on Jaune's face.

"We'll need to get going, okay sweetheart?" Weiss asked.

The pensiveness returned to the little Faunus boy's face. "I'm going to come back?"

"Yes, you are," Weiss said, her expression gentle, yet full of firm determination. "Even if Mister Jaune and I have to fight a million, _million_ Grimm, we'll get you back home to your Mom and Dad. I promise."

[/]

They went from home to home, collecting a fair-sized squadron of adorable Faunus children. It helped that, with each house visited, more children had come to a consensus that Weiss wasn't going to eat them, and stood patiently by her as Jaune met with the parents of the next household. To Weiss's dismay, tales of "The Schnee Monster" had spread far and wide. Some said that it would lurk in sewers, where it would lure little Faunus children to be devoured. Others claimed that it was two hundred feet tall and breathed fire. All agreed, however, that the Schnee Monster had a great big mustache, and that, even Weiss couldn't argue.

They had also had to take out a Grimm, a lone, undersized Boarbatusk that had wandered in from a breach in the wall. Jaune had stayed back with the children while Weiss had put on something of a show, culminating in a punchline where her own, much larger Boarbatusk slew the beast by dint of sitting on it and squashing it under its rear-end. This firmly convinced the children that she was, in fact, a Huntress, but she was distressed to discover that more than half of the children reasoned that, because she had protected Faunus, she couldn't _possibly_ be a Schnee.

She was a bit surprised by how much the Faunus in the city seemed to trust Jaune. To be sure, Weiss found that to be a _wonderful_ thing, but it seemed strange for so many to trust someone who had been sent by Atlas, a point that she brought up as they watched their charges file into the single-room building that had been converted into a schoolhouse.

"Well," Jaune shifted uncomfortably. "That's because they didn't exactly send me."

"What?"

Jaune sighed. "I figured out pretty quick that 'raise civilian morale' is code for 'please make them shut up and go away.' The first day, I was a bit surprised that there were so few kids I was supposed to escort, all in the upper-middle class district, and not a one was a Faunus. I asked Blake about it, and it was because…"

"...Because the parents whose children rated a Huntsman escort were the ones who collectively are Somebody enough to make problems for Ironwood," Weiss finished for him.

Jaune looked her dead in the eye. "_Everybody_ is Somebody," he said. "Every last one."

_Ba-bump!_

Huh. What do you know? Weiss had no idea her heart could flip like that. She felt a strange fluttering in her chest as it hit her just how fundamentally _good _Jaune was.

"So, Blake got in touch with some friends, who got in touch with her folks, and that's how I volunteered to take _these_ little boogers to school," he continued, reaching down to tousle Corran's hair as the boy trudged passed them in the snow.

"Bye, Mister Jaune, bye Miss Weiss," the young deer Faunus called in farewell. The two Hunters waved goodbye as the last of the children disappeared into the building.

"Why didn't Ironwood do something like that? Or at least make sure _some_ Faunus kids were seen being protected?" Weiss wondered.

Jaune sighed. "I don't think Ironwood's out to get anyone, at least, no one that isn't working for Salem. He's got his eye on the big picture. That's important, don't get me wrong, but… the big picture is made of a whole bunch of _little_ pictures. And I don't think he ever really understood that. It's why it's so easy to kick him around politically." He drew his shoulders up in a shrug, a wry smile on his face. "But the good news is, if we change enough of the little pictures, the big picture will change too. All we can do is the best we can, for as many as we can."

She stared at him for a moment. "Jaune, do you mind if…"

"If what?" he asked. Weiss held out her arms, and Jaune allowed her to pull him into a tight embrace, her arms wrapped around his midsection. She craned her neck up to look at him, the underside of her chin resting against his chestplate.

"Jaune?"

"Hmm?"

_I think I fell in love with you,_ she thought. Instead of saying that out loud, she said "Thank you for being… _you._"

"Kinda hard to be someone else."

"Shut up, we're having a moment."

"'Kay."

[/]

Weiss crossed her arms as the pair waited at the designated pick-up area for the pack of thirsty moms that she had driven off the previous day. They had made good time as they had collected children from all over the city and seen them safely to school. Her tactical mind recognized that, even as escorting more children than had been mandated was the right thing to do, it also had the side benefit of extensively familiarizing them with the city's layouts and pathways.

Weiss's gaze narrowed as she saw the first of them arrive in their cars, parking nearby to walk over with their children to Jaune. Their smiling and joking with each other came to as abrupt a stop as they themselves did when they saw her standing between them and their quarry.

"You know, you don't have to do this," Jaune reminded her.

"Yes, I do," she retorted. "Besides, this is one of those _happy _occasions where doing one's duty is a genuine pleasure."

"Just… try not to maim anyone."

Weiss suppressed her grin as the pack worked up the nerve to move closer. The children themselves began to cluster around Jaune while their mothers held a staredown with Weiss. A crumpled poster for Robyn Hill's campaign fluttered in the wind between them. Weiss stood utterly still and impassive as one, the same one with the wine yesterday, stepped forward.

"So what, are you putting a restraining order on him now?"

Weiss scoffed. In her mind, she decided that all of these women, every last one of them, were all named "Karen," and were all the sort to shrilly demand to see a manager for even the mildest perceived slight.

And they all had bad hair, too.

"Well, Karen, I should, but if you touch him again-"

"My name isn't Kare-"

"It doesn't _matter _what your name is," Weiss snapped. "Because my name is Weiss. Weiss _Schnee_."

Concerned muttering spread throughout the gathering of assorted randy trollops. Inside, Weiss was smirking. If her father was going to make her name so feared that children literally saw her as the monster under the bed, then she might as well get some use out of it for a good cause.

"Your interactions with Huntsman Jaune Arc _will_ be cordial and _professional_," Weiss continued, her tone leaving no room for argument. "Any repeat incidents of the sort I saw yesterday will be met with…_consequences_," she finished with what could only be described as a predatory sneer.

Suddenly, all of those mothers that had spent all that time following, and subsequently harassing, Jaune had all found themselves needed somewhere else. _Anywhere_ else.

"And your casserole was awful!" Jaune just couldn't resist calling out to the fleeing women. He shrugged in apology as Weiss looked at him. "What? It really was."

All Weiss could do was shake her head at the dork.

[/]

As they had started their classes earlier, the Faunus children had finished earlier as well, and sure enough, Jaune and Weiss were there to greet them as they left their improvised schoolhouse. Weiss smiled brilliantly as Corran and another child, a squirrel girl named Myri, ran right up to her.

_Who's scaring small children now, Father? Ha!_

"Miss Weiss, Miss Weiss!" Corran began. "Are you really going to have babies with Mister Jaune?"

That snatched the smile off Weiss's face with a quickness.

_"What?!"_

"What's wrong?" Jaune jogged up to her, gaggle of kids following dutifully behind him.

_Oh no,_ she thought.

Corran pressed on, unphased. "Well, Myri said, _Myri_ said that she saw you and him hugging by the door this morning."

"I did," Myri confirmed, her bushy squirrel tail twitching behind her.

"That's," Weiss felt a headache coming on, "that's not how babies are made," she sputtered.

Just… why her?

"Uh-_huh!" _Myri insisted. "When special friends hug, first they hug, then they kiss, then comes the special friend hug where they lie down. After that, the baby comes," the girl finished helpfully.

"You left out the lien," a different little boy added.

_Oh no_. Her mind was a brief symphony of "Oh no" in different tones and pitches, spiralling endlessly in crystalline harmonics.

"See, my mom has special friends come over and hug with her all the time, but they need to give her lien for it to work," he said, just a bit dour.

"And now we know something about Hobbie's mom that we didn't know before," Jaune muttered. Weiss stared at him, appalled. How could he be _amused_ at this situation?!

"I don't think Miss Weiss would do the special hug in the street," Corran said.

_Bless you, child!_

"Thank you, Corran," she said, relieved.

"Because she's a Schnee, and everyone knows Schnees lay eggs," he finished with sage gravity, setting off a chorus of appreciative "ohs" from the other children. "They'd get smooshed by cars."

Jaune lost his struggle to keep from laughing, letting out a deep belly roar that had him clutching his midsection. It came to an abrupt end as Weiss fixed him with a truly withering look, one that had him clamp his mouth shut with an audible pop.

_When all else fails, change the subject._

"Why don't you tell us what you learned today?" she asked the deer Faunus, her tone light with just the hint of strain to it.

"I learned that Hobbie's mom does the special hug for cash," he answered with all seriousness.

Weiss felt a vein throb on her forehead. "How about something _else_?"

Corran tapped his chin in thought. "Want to hear about subtraction?"

"_Yes_, yes I would!" Weiss jumped on the subject change with more than a little desperate hysteria in her voice. With the subject of her apparent impending reproduction with Jaune now finally, mercifully dropped, the two Hunters led the children back to their homes.

[/]

To Weiss's great satisfaction, the Thirsty Mom pack had been well and truly subdued that morning, quietly retrieving their children and driving off without incident. Jaune let out a sigh of relief when the last mother was finally out of sight. "Thanks for driving them off," he said. "Today's the first day in weeks where I don't feel like I need to bathe in kerosene to get the ick off."

"I'm just glad I could help," she told him. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," he confirmed. "Ruby actually called earlier, to apologize for not realizing something was wrong."

"It's not her fault," Weiss noted. "She's always been a little…"

"I think it's just hard for her to pick up on social cues."

"Well, add that to the fact that I'm pretty sure she'd be oblivious to anything up to touching if it were directed at her, and it's easy to see how it happened. Still, it's sweet of her to apologize."

"It was," Jaune confirmed. "It's nice to know she cares. I just wish I didn't end up putting more on her plate."

"She wouldn't be Ruby if she didn't care for everyone. Just like a certain _someone_ I know, going around and making sure the Faunus kids are safe."

"Aw, anyone would do that," he said, waving off her praise.

"No, not anyone," Weiss argued."_You_ did. You. You're a good man, Jaune Arc."

He chuckled to himself. "Well, maybe I just gotta keep at it until I believe it," he said to himself.

There were so many things that she wanted to say, that she wanted to read off of her heart and write in the sky for all to see. But she couldn't, and so she had to settle for resting her head on his shoulder as they rode back to Atlas in the transport.

[/]

Of the many sights that could have greeted her upon entering the training room to duel her sister, the last that Weiss had expected to see was said sister, gazing down at her Scroll in obvious amusement.

"Winter? What is it?"

The soldier looked up, her mouth set in a line, but her eyes twinkling with mirth. "Why dearest sister mine, why did you not inform me that you were seeing someone?"

"What?"

Winter showed her the Scroll, where a picture of her from the previous day, balanced on a chair and in Jaune's face, was prominently displayed. The caption read "When you smol and your man tol."

"It's the latest meme going around Huntress circles."

Weiss winced. "Xiao Long?"

"The very same. She said something about payback for a wakeup call?"

Weiss sighed.

"Well, I suppose you could have done worse. He's certainly 'tol,' as the youth these days are apparently saying. Rather broad in the shoulders as well, and actually rather fetching."

Weiss felt a flash of irritation. Winter was making her sound like one of those horrid old women! Sure, Jaune was tall, broad and handsome, but that wasn't what had set her heart into an acrobatic routine. After all, _Cardin_ had been all those things as well, and she would only ever touch _him_ to clout him about the skull!

"It's not like that," she snapped.

"Oh?"

"Did you know there were no Huntsmen assigned to protect the children of the Faunus district?"

Winter rolled her eyes. "That assignment is a joke, meant to placate a group of loud, insistent civilians and keeping them from making things worse."

"There was a Grimm today. Maybe not much of one, but still more than enough to take out a kindergartener or two."

"Really? Where was this?"

"The Faunus District." Weiss closed her eyes. "We were there because Jaune volunteered to be there. And he volunteered because he realized that there were no Faunus children that he had been assigned to watch."

"A...regrettable oversight," Winter began. "But still, well enough for him, I suppose. I can put in a commendation -"

"He didn't do it for a commendation. He did it because he was kind enough to care and dedicated enough to take even the 'joke' jobs seriously. Because that's how he is. He's compassionate and driven, and gentle, and an utter dork, and…"

Silence fell.

"Winter?"

"Yes?"

"How do you know when you're in love?"

All Winter could do was sigh and give her sister a sad little smile. "I'm afraid I wouldn't know."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

[/]

Well. A night off. This was novel. Problem was, Weiss hadn't the faintest idea what to do with it. Going to an election party had all of the appeal of mucking a stable, _especially_ when she knew for a fact that her father had some kind of scheme up his sleeve. Going with the Bees to the dance club with Team FNKI was even _less_ appealing, _especially_ since she would be the hopelessly awkward third wheel on the Useless Lesbian Romance wagon.

So all things considered, it was rather perfect timing when Jaune popped in. "Hey, Oscar and I are going to the movies, if anyone wants to-"

"Eeyup." Weiss didn't skip a beat.

Oscar coughed awkwardly into his fist. "Actually, I think I'm just gonna, you know, take five in the dorm room."

Jaune looked down at the boy in concern. "What? What's wrong?"

"Oh, just, you know, uh, Aura...fever," he finished lamely.

"Aura fever?"

"Yeah, Aura fever. Side effect of the Ozpin stuff. Not too serious, but the only treatment is a good, uh, four or five hours of rest. Alone. Uninterrupted." The farmboy-turned avatar gave Weiss a surreptitious thumbs-up, which Weiss returned. She also resolved to buy that boy something nice.

"Yep. So you two just press on without me. And, uh, don't bother calling with the Scroll, that will interrupt the Aura fever breaking process. Just spend four or five hours out there. With Weiss. Focusing on anything but me. Go on, shoo!" A childhood moving farm animals had prepared the short boy well for manhandling Jaune and Weiss out of the room and into the hall. Before he left, Oscar saw Yang and Blake, still in the room, staring at him.

"Wow," Yang said. "That was painful to watch."

"Almost as painful to watch as your dancing," Oscar shot back, before darting from the doorway.

Yang's jaw dropped. "Did I just get burned by the farmboy?"

"I think you just got burned by the farmboy," Blake confirmed.

[/]

"Wait. So if X-Ray and Vav were such close friends, why did they spend the first half of the movie punching each other?"

Weiss and Jaune strolled together in a plaza, with Jaune attempting to explain the byzantine plot structure of the dumb action film they had just watched. They hadn't felt like going back to the Academy so soon, and there were beautiful lights in the plaza. And if Weiss had managed to drape Jaune's arm over her shoulders - on account of the cold, of course - well, that was merely a side effect of their close conversation.

A wonderful, wonderful side effect.

"Well, to get that, you'd have needed to watch the first Hilda solo spinoff movie, which is a sequel to the second Mogar film."

"What."

"Well, that's how an expanded universe works."

"That just sounds like a way to sell more tickets to movies that don't stand on their own merits."

"Oof," Jaune clutched his chest with the hand attached to the arm that wasn't being held captive by the small woman he was conversing with. "That gets me right in my nerdy, nerdy heart."

"You've got a lot of Aura, you'll survive," she said, favoring him with a dazzling smile. "Maybe."

Jaune wondered if she could feel how fast his heart was pounding. Weiss wondered if he noticed the small catch in her breath.

"So," Weiss began, her tone playful. "If _I _were a Revenger, what would my code name be?"

"Snow Angel," he answered, without hesitation. After a beat, he realized what he'd said. "Aw, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."

"They're not bad memories," she assured him. "I was very… _annoyed _at the time, but looking back, it's funny." She giggled as she remembered something. "_Where_ did you find that awful sombrero, anyway?"

"Knight's secret!" he declared, puffing out his chest. Their laughter echoed across the plaza. "Still," he said. "I still want to make it up to you for that unwanted attention."

"You know," Weiss fidgeted nervously. "A lot has changed since then. You're different. _I'm_ different. Where we are, and what we're doing with our lives, that's all changed too. So… if you're willing to give it one last shot… it wouldn't be unwanted this time." She forced herself to meet his gaze as she finished speaking, her face burning from nervous embarrassment.

"One last shot, huh?"

"Mmmhmm."

"I'd better make it a good one, then."

"That would be prudent, yes."

"Well," he said, cocking his head a little as he built up his own nerve. "Here goes."

He bent down to kiss her, Weiss raising up on her toes to meet him. His lips were soft and sweet, and his hands large and warm on her waist and between her shoulder blades. As she leaned back to accept his deepening kiss, one of Weiss's feet popped up behind her for balance. She giggled as he dared to slip her just a little tongue. Finally, he pulled back, breaking the kiss as Weiss leaned forward to press against his chestplate. She smiled with all the satisfaction of a well-fed predator as she panted for breath.

"So… how was that shot?"

"Bull's-eye."

**[/]**

**Endnotes: And with that, this story has come to an end. Weiss is victorious on all fronts, driving away the Thirsty, Thirsty Moms and winning the affection of her dorky knight.**

**When I rewatched the Atlas montage, I noticed that I didn't see any Faunus, at least no obvious ones with tails or horns or whatnot.** **Now obviously, there could well be a number of innocuous reasons for that, both in-universe and out; there could have been separate schools, maybe they were on their way to meet with more students, it was a throwaway joke so why bother complicating the animation for a three-second gag with someone with horns or extra ears, so on and so forth. But...where's the story in that?**

**Michel Foucault described the ordering of society as a form of hygienic regimen on the body politic, one where the "unclean" from whom society must be defended are, on the whole, selected on entirely arbitrary means - race, ethnoreligious background, skin color, handedness, nipple inversion, whatever meaningless, stupid and arbitrary grounds for delineating people as being those in the center of the society and those on the margins has, or will be, used. Because people suck. The main point, though, is that in a biopolitical system, the core demographic must be allowed to live, and for that, the margins must be allowed to perish. To see who lives on the margins of a society, look for who rates rescue, and who doesn't. Whose death is an aberrant tragedy that demands systemic correction, and whose death is an expected, even welcome outcome of the system at work. **

**My own take on the reactionary political trend sweeping the world right now is that the one-two punch of sky-high wealth disparity and looming resource scarcity due to climate change is actively shrinking the size of the core that society can sustain in the manner to which they have become accustomed. Many people who thought themselves to be comfortably in the core are finding themselves on the brink of being left behind the receding bounds of security and are, for a term, freaking out.**

**In terms of RWBY, think of Mantle. While the human inhabitants know they aren't Schnee-rich, they also didn't expect their livelihoods to be on the chopping block either. Meanwhile, the Faunus are just screwed; when times are good, they are never **_**as**_** good for them, and when times are bad, they're even worse for them. Expect anti-Faunus sentiment and policies from Jacques Schnee. They make for a convenient scapegoat, a constant enemy against which to "contend," and, if push comes to shove, an expendable supply of forced labor. Seen it happen in our own history. Incidentally, being a historian really is no fun sometimes.**

**Anyways, thank you for reading my fanfiction/TEDtalk.**

**-Mahina **


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